Disclaimer:
Now before I write this post, I just want to clarify that I am not a fashion expert, in any way, shape or form. Having just bought these absolute beauties (I WILL stop talking about them..eventually) I can confidently say that my sense of fashion is somewhat alternative.
However, this does not excuse the levels of absolute fashion terrorists in Hong Kong. Inspiration for this blog post has been brewing over the past few weeks now, but what really cemented the need to type this all out was the complete atrocity on the MTR on Friday night, that I will never, ever be able to un-see. Remember doing food pyramids/pyramids of biomass in Year 7 Biology? That was my first thought upon seeing this particular lady's hair. That was just the side. The top was short and spikey, much like a mullet, and the back was long and plaited. I mean, how do you even begin to ask the hairdresser for that kind of cut?! And it doesn't even stop at the hair, oh no. Her outfit was a big, tight mess of sparkles and pink, kind of what I would imagine a unicorn's vomit would look like. But most horrifying of all, she was definitely of the same age group as my mother.. I mean, I really love my mum, but there is absolutely no way I would let her out of the house dressed anything like that. It was monstrous.
I think that's the thing over here. Everyone wants to stand out and be 'individual', which equates to some rather bizarre fashion choices, as illustrated below.
Fashion knowledge really is poo-poo.
I can't tell what makes me angrier, the elasticated, denim hareem pants, the white socks and ballet pump combo, or the hideous t-shirt.
.......I think it might have to be the socks.
I don't understand the leggings and shorts situation here. Just what are you doing with your life?
Those few pictures above offer just a brief glimpse into the world of day-to-day fashion terrorism. It's pretty scary, right?
Androgyny is another prominent feature within Hong Kong, to the point where it is borderline impossible to tell if the person is male or female (look for Adam's apple!). A shockingly large amount of girls have their hair cut and styled like they're part of a Korean boyband, dress in clothes that are obviously designed for the male persuasion, walk and talk like boys to the point where they even have their own slightly derogatory label - 'TB', short for tomboy. It's actually kind of astounding, how they manage to erase all feminine features and achieve a look that really does beg the question, "what sex are you?!".
I can let androgyny slide by, but the one thing that I can not, for the life of me, understand is why so many ladies of my mother's (and above!) generation insist on dressing like they're twenty years old. The phrase "mutton dressed as lamb" has never been truer!
Its very strange. I was stood behind a woman wearing a short, hot pink, Juicy Couture velour tracksuit yesterday. She had her legs out, hideous high heels on, hair dyed and curled, so I naturally assumed she was around my age. Biggest shock of my life when she turned around, and even with her face covered in make-up she was definitely touching 40 years old. I mean, come on love, who do you think you're kidding?!
Just get a grip, accept the fact that you're getting old, and dress like it. Get yourself down to M&S like a self-respecting, middle-aged woman and stop buying clothes from the likes of Forever 21. Juicy Couture is NOT acceptable past the age of....actually Juicy Couture is just not acceptable, ever. Jeeeeez.
On a parting note; death to socks and sandals. Just choose one or the other, this is one of rare times when BOTH really is not an option.
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