Fashion terrorism - a serious threat.

Disclaimer:

Now before I write this post, I just want to clarify that I am not a fashion expert, in any way, shape or form. Having just bought these absolute beauties (I WILL stop talking about them..eventually) I can confidently say that my sense of fashion is somewhat alternative. 

However, this does not excuse the levels of absolute fashion terrorists in Hong Kong. Inspiration for this blog post has been brewing over the past few weeks now, but what really cemented the need to type this all out was the complete atrocity on the MTR on Friday night, that I will never, ever be able to un-see. Remember doing food pyramids/pyramids of biomass in Year 7 Biology? That was my first thought upon seeing this particular lady's hair. That was just the side. The top was short and spikey, much like a mullet, and the back was long and plaited. I mean, how do you even begin to ask the hairdresser for that kind of cut?! And it doesn't even stop at the hair, oh no. Her outfit was a big, tight mess of sparkles and pink, kind of what I would imagine a unicorn's vomit would look like. But most horrifying of all, she was definitely of the same age group as my mother.. I mean, I really love my mum, but there is absolutely no way I would let her out of the house dressed anything like that. It was monstrous.

I think that's the thing over here. Everyone wants to stand out and be 'individual', which equates to some rather bizarre fashion choices, as illustrated below.

Fashion knowledge really is poo-poo.

I can't tell what makes me angrier, the elasticated, denim hareem pants, the white socks and ballet pump combo, or the hideous t-shirt.

.......I think it might have to be the socks.

I don't understand the leggings and shorts situation here. Just what are you doing with your life?

Those few pictures above offer just a brief glimpse into the world of day-to-day fashion terrorism. It's pretty scary, right?

Androgyny is another prominent feature within Hong Kong, to the point where it is borderline impossible to tell if the person is male or female (look for Adam's apple!). A shockingly large amount of girls have their hair cut and styled like they're part of a Korean boyband, dress in clothes that are obviously designed for the male persuasion, walk and talk like boys to the point where they even have their own slightly derogatory label - 'TB', short for tomboy. It's actually kind of astounding, how they manage to erase all feminine features and achieve a look that really does beg the question, "what sex are you?!".

I can let androgyny slide by, but the one thing that I can not, for the life of me, understand is why so many ladies of my mother's (and above!) generation insist on dressing like they're twenty years old. The phrase "mutton dressed as lamb" has never been truer!

Its very strange. I was stood behind a woman wearing a short, hot pink, Juicy Couture velour tracksuit yesterday. She had her legs out, hideous high heels on, hair dyed and curled, so I naturally assumed she was around my age. Biggest shock of my life when she turned around, and even with her face covered in make-up she was definitely touching 40 years old. I mean, come on love, who do you think you're kidding?!

Just get a grip, accept the fact that you're getting old, and dress like it. Get yourself down to M&S like a self-respecting, middle-aged woman and stop buying clothes from the likes of Forever 21. Juicy Couture is NOT acceptable past the age of....actually Juicy Couture is just not acceptable, ever. Jeeeeez.

On a parting note; death to socks and sandals. Just choose one or the other, this is one of rare times when BOTH really is not an option.

A foray into the Land of Pushers, Squatters and Spitters.

First of all, apologies for not posting last week as I was galavanting around Mainland China, playing in hotels and unable to connect to any fun webpages as I completely forgot that pretty much everything is banned in China. Somewhat conveniently, this ties in beautifully with this post..

Okay, a brief summary of events here. Although Hong Kong is technically back in China's hands after the Brits had 99 years of reign, we have this whole 'One Country, Two Systems' thing going on. This is pretty much where Hong Kong gets to do what it wants without having to conform to China's laws and regulations. Basically this means we get to do a hella of a lot of things that they don't. This also means that mainlanders, (as we like to call 'em) have to apply for a visa to live and work in HK.

There are many reasons for this  (I can't even begin to go on about this, my fingers would fall off there would be THAT much to type...!) but let me just outline the most prominent one below..

This mystery trip into PRC is the first time I've been in over 10 years, and I can't really say I'm in too much of a hurry to return. Why, you may ask? Sure, it was stunning; I liked how unlike Hong Kong, there is actually space to move and breathe. There was grass and trees, it was picturesque and breath-taking.. I  can probably come up with a few more generally pleasing adjectives to describe the scenery and carry on.

However, I can come up with a whole lot more negative adjectives to describe the culture, or more specifically, the mainland Chinese mentality. I mean, I've had the odd encounter with them before, but pretty much nothing could've prepared me for what I experienced on those fateful two days.

Now, as previous posts have suggested, I'm quite particular in terms of manners and general politeness (although I officially became a Hongky on Friday.. After three long months of keeping it in, I finally let my anger out and tutted at someone who was walking to slow. And then glared. Walking etiquette is important!) but I was just appalled. There was just no order, in anything! 

Now I'm quite the fan of queuing. It works, right? You want something, you wait patiently for your turn, jobs good. Nah, totally pointless in PRC. They just push and shove you out the way (not too gently either!), because whats the point in queuing when they can just march right to the front and not wait?

They litter. They pee in public. And what is with the squatting? Why does everybody squat?! It's just a general lack of respect not only for others, but for their surrounding environment too. 

For example, I was having lunch in a pretty busy restaurant on Saturday, somewhere in Guangzhou. (Don't ask me where, I don't have a clue.. I'm not really too sure where Guangzhou is actually..hmm.) When suddenly, a tour bus load of mainlanders arrive, obviously hungry but with no tables available to accomodate them.

The normal situation would've been for them to wait patiently either in reception or outside, and wait for available tables. Right? I'm pretty certain that's what I do when I have to wait for a table normally.

The actual situation is that I found myself surrounded by people, literally right over my shoulders, watching me eat. This is pretty intimidating, and unbelievably uncomfortable. Feeling pretty awkward, we decided to just finish up quickly and leave, and I swear I hadn't even finished lifting my left butt cheek off my chair before someone had decided to sit down. Who does that?!?!

Its the lack of respect, integrity and general decorum within the PRC mindset that has negated my viewpoint on China as a whole. Its shocking to think that it only takes ten minutes to cross the HK-PRC border, yet the culture is so vastly different.