TOURIST ATTRACTION OF THE WEEK: KADOORIE FARM

It appears that D.A.'s tree-hugging and nature loving ways is contagious - which is why I would most definitely recommend going on a day out to Kadoorie Farm & Botanical Gardens.

Sprawling over 148 acres across Hong Kong's tallest mountain, Tai Mo Shan, Kadoorie Farm offers winding trails, breath-taking landscapes and beautiful waterfalls. Most importantly, it's an escape from the grime and slime of City living - a chance to breathe in fresh air that isn't 80% exhaust fumes and become one with nature. (Oh lord, I'm starting to sound like a hippy).

As with most farms, there was a reasonable variety of animals to see, including birds (of pretty much every variety), wildcats and reptiles. My all time favourite though, had to be this outrageously pregnant pig.

Pretty, pretty, pretty!!

Accessibility: 

Okay, I guess I'm cheating a little here - I live two bus stops away, so its ridiculously close for me. However, I know for most Hongkies this is a little far out, but still really easy to get to. Jump on the East Rail, get off at Tai Po Market Station, hop on the 64K (towards Yuen Long) for like twenty minutes and there's a bus stop right outside Kadoorie Farm.

In terms of the farm, there are maps with handy "YOU ARE HERE!" thingies, and lots of little signposts so its pretty hard to get lost. However, there are a lot of steps and steep hills so be prepared to walk your socks off. Or alternatively, there's a bus that does a tour of Kadoorie too.

Highlights:

I don't know if my pictures really do it justice, but Kadoorie really is completely beautiful. 

My favourite part had to be the gazebo next to the waterfall at the end of the Rainbow trail, absolute heaven!

Tips:

WEAR TRAINERS. There is whole lotta rocky terrain, steps and steep bits.

Take water. Trust me, there's a lot of sweating involved and keeping hydrated is pretty damn important.

Wear mosquito repellent. Its the great outdoors, so be prepared for a few bites here and there.

Totally worth the $20 entrance fee to get in touch with Momma Nature, however I only managed to explore half of the farm last time, so once I get my act together and finally get to the top of the mountain, I'll update this post with a review of the rest.. !

The epic battle between Ice Cream Sandwiches and Apples

I can wholeheartedly admit that I am an iPhone whore. In the past four years, I have gone through EIGHT iPhones, (it turns out I'm quite the smasher and loser..) four generations - 3, 3G, 4 and 4S and have pledged my life to the Apple allegiance for the rest of eternity. I have battled through competitors like Blackberry (Wankberry), HTC, Sony Ericsson, accusations of being an Apple zombie and defended my love of iPhones to the very end.

That is, until Wednesday. On Wednesday, on my merry way to work, the bus that I was snoozing in crashed into a taxi and left us stranded in East Jesus Nowhere. Not being able to delay our journey for another minute longer, nor the next bus to come and rescue us, D.A. (you know, the housemate?) and I came to the executive decision that we would walk towards a main road and hopefully find a MTR station or a cab. And this ladies and gentlemen, is the monumental moment where my beloved iPhone completely failed me.

Having downloaded iOS6 a few weeks earlier, I cannot say that the newest software thrilled me - I was completely devastated that Google Maps had been replaced by the utter wank that is Apple Maps. With my eternal love of exploring, coupled with my complete lack of directional sense, I relied somewhat heavily on my map app to get me around. (Unfortunately, an actual map isn't something I carry on a regular basis..or ever) And unlike Google Maps, which would have told me exactly where I was and how to get to the nearest MTR station on that fateful Wednesday morning, whether I was walking, driving or taking the bus, all Apple Maps told me was vaguely which street I was on. Thanks for that, I read that from the street sign that I was stood next to. I was fuming! Along with the sneaky ad sharing and a dodgy camera, enough was enough.

Which is why, after work (when I finally got there!) I went out and bought a Samsung S3. And holy guacamole, its like being in a whole new (technological) world!

It's official, I have converted. And although I've only been on the Android & Samsung bandwagon for a couple of days, I regret not jumping on it a whole lot earlier. Let me outline why I think this transition has been one of the best decisions in my life;

• Storage. I really, really like music (which is convenient seeing as though my daily commute is around two hours return) and I like taking pictures of everything even more (I'm so Asian, sigh) which is how I managed to fill a 32GB iPhone to the max. I even paid an extra £14 to buy more storage on iCloud. (Apple are such robbing bastards). And even though I bought a 16GB SIII, I have the extremely handy option of inserting up to a 64GB SD card in. Which is more songs and photos than I can shake a stick at.
• I have a free App for that! Having a cheeky browse through the Play Store, there are abundantly more free apps to play with than there are in the Apps Store. For example, my most used app - Whatsapp. Apple: 69p. Android: Free. 
• Customisation. I can change literally everything on this Samsung bad boy!(This doesn't mean I know how..) There are options for pretty much everything. From the way I unlock my phone (seven different ways to choose from, and that's without downloading any fancy apps) to the order of my screens to the colour on my little blinky LED light, its a whole lot more than changing wallpapers and ringtones on an iPhone. 
• Google Maps. Seriously, nothing can compare to Google Maps. I can personally draw maps better than the pile of crap that is Apple Maps.

So in my personal opinion on this epic battle, Ice Cream Sandwich is most definitely victorious!

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.

Sunday night saw D.A. (The infamous, nature-loving housemate of mine - refer back to previous posts if your memory is a bit shit) having a mental breakdown in the middle of the diaper aisle in the local supermarket. The sheer complexity of the nappy buying process had us in complete freak out mode - is 5kg the amount of wee it can hold? What does NB stand for? What waist size does a 2 year old have?

Whilst I really do like kids, and genuinely can't wait to have my own (my kiddy-winkles and I would have matching trainers fo' sho'!) I think this experience has cemented the fact that I'm just not ready yet.

And sure, seeing all these super adorable Chinese bambinos around with their awesome hair and cute expressions makes me broody as hell - but when I really think about it, I'm not all that convinced that I would like to raise them in Hong Kong.

The pressure to succeed is pretty hardcore, regardless of age. Parental expectations for their child are incredibly ambitious, especially in Chinese culture. Lets face it, if you're not an accountant, doctor, or lawyer, then what the hell are doing with your life? The general path is to study hard, get top grades, go to university, get a job, make lots of money, get married, have kids.

This process literally starts the minute the child breathes in his first lungful of air when he reaches this world. The pressure really is on - there are soccer-tots classes starting at 18mths old, swimming classes, ice skating classes, Mandarin classes, ballet classes, musical instrument classes, tennis lessons..the list of extra-curricular activities for a primary schooler is pretty freaking intense! There's a nine year old boy (some sort of very distant relative) that has 10 hours of squash practice a week. I think my arms would actually fall off. Not to mention the extra tuition, the extra study classes, the sheer level of homework can amount to several HOURS per night! I mean, they're like eight years old.. surely they should be out playing instead of locked in a clarinet lesson or stuck doing a mountain of homework?

My almost three year old cousin had to have eight interviews for kindergarten alone, EIGHT. I just want to put this in perspective; I had four interviews to get into university. In my twenty-two year existence, I've attended seven job interviews. And you're telling me that the average pre-k kid has to go for more interviews just for kindergarten than some people do in their careers? Whaaaat. That's just not right.

I think this kind of environment is something that I wouldn't be willing to put my own child through. I actually want them to be able to play out and enjoy their childhood, instead of rushing from one study session to another. I mean, the only extra curricular I took at school was cello lessons (I wish I'd chosen a more portable instrument- it was so heavy!) and I can honestly say that it hasn't really helped me that much in my adult life. What I do appreciate however, was the freedom I was given - and I turned out alright!

Tourist Attraction of the Week: OCEAN PARK

Not going to lie, definitely worth a visit! We were wise in terms of choosing to go on a weekend when the kids were all back at school and it was relatively quiet. We were quite lucky with the weather too, sunny but breezy - Ocean Park is pretty much all outdoors so I would definitely recommend going on a day when you know for sure that you aren't gonna frazzle.

We went to watch three shows;

Sea Dreams Show - Sea Lions & Dolphins

Whiskers & Friends Show - More Sea Lions

Emperors Of The Sky Show - Lots and lots birds..

One of my absolute favourites- the cable cars!!

Really lovely view of Repulse Bay/Aberdeen

But my all time favourite part of Ocean Park has got to be the PANDAS!

Accessibility - 9/10

There's a bus that takes literally 15mins from right outside Admiralty MTR to the entrance of Ocean Park, and even though the enormous queue is quite off-putting, it sure goes down fast as there are buses leaving pretty much every minute. The only downside is that it's quite far out, so getting home can get quite difficult.

In terms of the park itself, its pretty easy to get around, lots of signs for those who are geographically challenged, but there is a fair amount of walking involved.

Shows - 6/10

There is a high chance that I'm slightly biased as I've previously been to SeaWorld (and let's face it, not much can beat Shamu) but I found there was something lacking in all three of the shows we attended. All three were trilingual (Eng/Canto/Mando) which is good because it covers all bases, but bad because if you were only able to follow one language, there were massive chunks of dialog that you just didn't understand. And the animals didn't look happy.

Variety - 9/10

Lots and lots to see and do, from seeing penguins at the South Pole Encounter, going on the newly opened Hair Raiser rollercoaster, walking through Old Hong Kong, playing in the aquarium to watching the nighttime water spectacular, Symbio, there's more to do than you can shake a stick at.

Highlights;

The pandas of course!

And the cable cars, got to love the cable cars.

Tips;

Bring your own water, and make it a big bottle too. As with most tourist spots, everything is like 43439 times the price. ($20 for a bottle of water? Do one.)

Get there early, as you really will need all day to play!

Get to the shows about 15 minutes before they start as most of the seats get taken up, pretty quick. 

Wear sunblock. It's mighty sunny!

Overall Fun Factor - 9/10

Amazing day out, lots to see, do and buy! Definitely worth the $280 admission fee, for a fun-filled day and a handful of awesome memories!

Long Live Hong Kong Grannies!

Whilst on a 6am run this morning (no genuinely, I am NOT lying, there I was with my trainers on, pounding the pavement and sweating like a fat kid in a cake shop- at such an ungodly hour for a Sunday too) I had a moment of clarity whilst being over-taken by the ladies and gents of HK that were double, if not triple my age. The OAPs of Hong Kong, are one healthy-ass bunch. 

Let me throw you some statistics (everyone loves statistics!) to back this up. Hongkies have a life expectancy of 85.1 years (girls) and 79.4 years (fellas) respectively, and consistently rank in the top 10 countries with the highest life expectancy, placing 2nd in 2010 (losing out to Japan..I think all that sushi and yummy tonkatsu ramen makes them immortal) and 8th in 2011. Compare this to our 'parent' country, People's Republic of China who placed 63rd (average life exp. of 74.8 years) and the country that placed last at 194th, Mozambique (39.2 years), the pensioners of HK are obviously doing something very, very right. 

This is something that I have noticed though. When I'm leaving for work at ridiculous o'clock on the weekdays, I always see a bunch of middle-aged old ladies walking back from their morning stroll. Whilst hiking this afternoon (HIKING! I know!), I walked past a whole gaggle of over-60s. Even if you are going past a park, there will definitely be a bunch of the older generation doing their daily exercises. People here are infinitely more proactive, even regardless of age.

I can actually put myself forward as an example. The maximum amount of activity I did whilst back in the UK involved walking from my front door, to my car. Then from my car, to the shops, or work, etc. I occasionally worked out my arms by lifting a pint from the table to my mouth. Sometimes, I even pushed the boat out and ate a salad (highly uncommon situation). If I had to compare myself to a Pokemon, it would be Snorlax.

But even now I've been sucked into a more healthy lifestyle. Not even counting that I've signed myself up for a 10km charity run (hence the 6am runs, sigh) and my newly discovered penchant for climbing up mountains, I have to do high levels of walking on a day-to-day basis (which explains why I can't wear heels so much over here, because a) I'm scared of PK-ing and b) there's just so much damn walking to be done!). 

So regardless of the outrageously large levels of pollution, the weather that makes my knees click and all the MSG-laden food, I'm hopeful that I'm going to live and long prosperous life filled with tea, dim sum and hiking.

And I wanted to dedicate this blog to my big-knockered acquaintance, thank you for following my blog :) and letting me know too!

What's more dangerous, shark infested waters or a girl with princess syndrome?

After a gruelling day at work, where I was simultaneously battling man flu (I will never bitch about UK working hours.. 9am-5pm oh, how I miss those days! The Asians work so bloody hard!) I made the executive decision to give up on my 58457hour commute and take a taxi home. Definitely wise.
As per usual, the taxi driver had an endless amount of banter, and we happened upon the subject of HK men; where we happily proceeded to bash the living hell out of one particular type. A type that I'm pretty certain only exists in Asia.

Now this type of male species doesn't have a name, but they do have certain characteristics. The major and most telling one is this - they carry their girlfriend/wife's handbag. Seriously, have they lost their cajones?! Their dignity?! Why are they carrying a freaking Chanel handbag, HANDBAG!, around?! Get a grip on life and tell your bird that if she can't carry her own bloody bag, then she shouldn't buy one in the first place. Jeez.

Now I can wholeheartedly admit that this isn't entirely the guy's fault. I am aware that the lion's share of the blame is wholly on the girl - who is obviously suffering from advanced stages of Princess Syndrome. Completely dehabilitating, but a pretty common disease within the Hong Kong female population. And something that I can absolutely not stand. For those who have yet to encounter this horrendous disorder, let me outline some of the major symptoms;

• princess mentality; that they're above others - that they are infinitely better, prettier, smarter 
• expect others to drop everything to help them 
• throw tantrums when they don't get their own way 
• being generally spoilt

What's more horrifying is that I've seen this in action, more than once. On the MTR, on an escalator, in the middle of a shopping centre (I wrote 'mall' first before remembering that I'm British..ugh, I said 'cell phone' the other day as well, I nearly shot myself). Girls throwing full on hissy fits at their boyfriend for not saying the right thing or not paying them enough attention. Girls demanding completely ridiculous items from waiters in restaurants. Girls thinking that they're the absolute shit and need to have the immediate attention of everyone in the vicinity, right now. Its more sickening to watch than 'two girls one cup' (okay, maybe thats a different level of sick). It's just not right.
The mentality is wrong on so many levels, and what makes it worse are the people (usually boyfriends and husbands) that completely bow down and actually give in to their stipulations.
I think that if I had tried to do this back home, I would've been swiftly told to do one and to stop being such a dick. I'm certain that not many would even entertain the thought of hanging out with me ever again if I acted like this.

So my question is, why are so many (Asian) girls like this? And why are so many (Asian) guys so accepting?

More importantly, what's 'get a grip and grow a pair' in Chinese?!

Ain't nobody gonna be as efficient as the Chinese

Apologies for being such a deadbeat blogger, there are many factors that contribute towards my lack of blogging prowess, (including parental visits, dodgy laptop and too many weekends gallivanting around and not staying at home long enough to blog) however, I'm back to updating once a week. (yay!)

Having spent the past few blogs pretty much bashing Hong Kong, I thought I would share an insight on what I think Hongkies do better than anybody else - and that's getting things done, hella fast.
Genuinely, if there's one thing that the Chinese can really excel at, its their undeniable ability to be bloody efficient.

Take for example, the time when my bus home was crashed into by a lorry in the middle of the motorway. Absolute nightmare. It was late, I was tired from work (I download music legally too.. I'm officially an adult, sigh) and most importantly, I was hungry. Hungry to the point where I was mentally evaluating whether a McDonald's number six meal (I can only order by numbers, damn my lack of Chinese menu-reading ability), noodles and dumplings with a side of steamed buns could be considered as just one meal. I was dreading the hours it would take for all this bus pallava to be sorted out, the hours standing between being rescued and finally getting my hands on all the food in the world. Having broken down in the UK in my tiny ass car before, where I waited a good 2 hours for the freaking RAC to turn up and save me, I thought a similar situation would transpire here. Sigh.
Oh, how wrong I was. Within fifteen minutes, we'd been moved to the hard shoulder, the police had turned up and taken statements, the lorry was carted off on a tow truck, and another bus had shown up to continue our merry journey home. Daaaamn girl, it was amazing! It was like nothing had ever happened!

On a grander scale, Hong Kong has the mighty Octopus card, which I think is pretty much the epitome of what efficiency is. Similar to London's Oyster card (except about 4834739343 times better), we use this for public transport as an alternative to cash, so all one has to do is simply *doot* their card and they can be on their merry way. Not only is it for public transport, it can be used pretty much anywhere - to buy coffee in the morning, to pay the bills, purchase cinema tickets, enter the swimming pool..the list can really go on. I can pretty much be like the Queen and not carry cash at all, as long as I had my octopus card on me. Not only does it mean I can survive on just using this lone card for the rest of my life (in HK anyway), it is undoubtedly more time effective. Just think how much faster it is to *doot*, rather than rummaging around a purse for the right change, then realising that you're 10cents short, then start rummaging in the bottom of your handbag, then pockets, then fuck it you're really holding up the queue so you'll just pay with a $50 bill instead.. yknow what I mean?

Efficiency is also apparent on a more day-to-day basis. From quick service at pretty much every restaurant and retail store in HK (in the UK, I spend an ungodly amount of time trying to make eye contact with waiting staff in restaurants because its polite, right? Over here, its a pretty much 'take my order NOW' hand raising situation) to sorting out phone contracts and opening bank accounts (which would've taken literally years and LOTS of to-ing and fro-ing back at home) everything just seems so much more fast paced, but equally as effective.

Yep, if there's one thing the Chinese can whoop yo' ass at, its being speedy and effective.